remember that time when....
ever realize how some people have this horrible condition where they cannot tell an entertaining story?
i know some people who love talking. they go on and on for hours on end on some self righteous self gratifying spiel regarding the latest mini drama in their life... but, even though interesting things might or might not have happened, it completely fails to sound interesting in any way. they talk, so if i was deathly afraid of utter silence they would be ideal, but they arent exactly fun.
stories should at least make a person laugh, chuckle, giggle, smirk, cough, react somehow. instead with their stories i mostly just sit there and concentrate on not letting my drool spill over too far. sometimes i imagine their head slowly inflating till it burst open, or maybe a strong slap.
just slap right across the face. nice and quick, catch them completely off guard and then just slap. maybe that will do something to their ability to tell a story. or not. either way i win.
just make an effort to tell a story right ok. dont stop halfway going "oh yeah i forgot to mention that...." cause then it sounds made up. and if a supposedly funny story falls flat, let it go.. dont keep going assuming that if you embellish the story enough it will eventually become funny. and be prepared for backlash in that situation, because we (we = those of us who didnt like your story telling ability and can at least occasionally/sporadically be amusing) will poke fun at you for a while.... cover it up if you want by saying "guess you had to be there." doesnt always work but at least you tried. but for god's sake, dont assume we want to know why you think it was terribly funny how you couldnt find a matching pair of socks that morning, or how you love the way X guys/girls hair curves slightly to the right at a specific angle but only when their head is tilted slightly to the right letting some light shine through it and how you wish you could touch it and how great that makes you feel inside... honestly most people really dont care about that, so stop being self absorbed.
saying you like the person... ok. saying it every 10 minutes and having every conversation end on that person. not so good. analyzing everything and comparing everything to how that person does it.... very f'n bad, at that point you deserve to have something horrid happen to you... something involving acid or a small furry dog im not sure, but something.
finally, on the amazing story telling rant i have gone off on here (stream of consciousness, whatya gonna do?)... its the amazing conversations of college students.. now im not saying anything bad about college students, im one myself at blarghiblugh college. but do they always have to talk about how piss drunk they were that weekend, how they vomited at the corner light in front of this person and how someone snapped a picture after they fell down in the middle of the street with the vomit streaming down their shirt after being in a stuffy bar slamming down the fermentation of various grains, vegetables and fruits for several hours and making a complete ass of themselves in front of complete strangers in the hope that they would find someone else who was equally loaded on fermentation juice to decide that the best course of action for the night is to go home with the guy who smells of tobacco, cheap fermentation with drool and vomit coming out the side of their mouth with a hand eye coordination that denotes no possible ability to do anything even remotely interesting in the sexual area, if they manage to stay conscious long enough to get that far into the process and how they awoke the next morning in the most horrible pain they have ever experienced and can only relate to some odd form of childbirth involving their head, something that didnt go away until late tuesday night, but how they hope to repeat the entire process again starting thursday.
because that is what i hear every fucking monday-wednesday in class. 2 people discussing their same boring drunk night out. the same dull story repeated over and over. oh the scenery and location may change, yes. but its the same story. went out. got drunk. vomited. talked to someone. came home. vomited. passed out. woke up here. repeat ad-nauseum.
im sick and tired of it. someone give the drunks a new story to tell, please. i need variety in my class entertainment.