dont take this personally
not to upset anyone. but it seems that the christian blogs tend to end on the same note over and over again. "oh well, i guess god has a plan and he knows whats best so ill just sit back and wait for it to be revealed to me."
its an observation is all.... but i do think that perhaps there should be slightly more initiative displayed... less of the "ill leave up to someone else" type attitude that seems to be catching on like a rampant plague, and more of the "im going to do this..."
because if we follow the christian train of thought, whatever you do has already been planned beforehand (unless your doing something slightly off like placing explosives in cars and bullets in heads, then its a matter of free will, but thats a complicated issue so lets move on), so taking an action isnt as horrible as you think. just go.
do what you really feel like doing because in theory you should no longer be that concerned with doing the wrong thing or undertaking that which god doesnt want you to. if anything, your past christian experiences have given you a good idea of what it is that is expected of you, so you should be relatively safe in whatever option you choose (because you are only considering options that fall in line with your beliefs, so theres no truly wrong choice...)
on the other hand.. you are not judged by actions. so doing something that in hindsight you shouldnt have, shouldnt be that large a problem (not in the overblown existential way some people make it out to be), because no one is asking you to be a pope or the perfect role model for young blonde haired children everywhere...
so just do something! you cant sit there hoping and praying for days on end... if you do that then you have a series of problems (not psychological or anything like that...) because you cannot make a quick decision if one where to appear. instead you would be confused and so caught up in trying to outhink god that the opportunity would pass you by. at which point you turnaround and say, "oh well, probably for the best because thats what god wanted."
rubbish. you assume that a god would test only to see if his subjects would fall. what stops that same god from testing to see if you have learned from past test's that have been given to you (think of it like that pavlov experiment, but on a much grander scale with multiple conditioners) to see if you can make the proper choice on your own because you have learned what it is that god is expecting from you? why do you need to constantly be turned and guided in the proper direction like so many infants? have you not, once again theoretically, grown matured and developed in the "right" (in quotations because it depends on who you ask... buddhists would disagree with you like you do with them) path/lifestyle, then you should be able to live it without constantly having to resort to the user manual and customer support.
you know what.... take what you will from this....
me, i have issues with organized religion (or any religion led by humanity on supposedly divine sources that where interpreted by the "imperfect" humans in the first place...)
im going to go kick something.
you have fun doing what you do.