wha¿

i hate being sick.
it makes me miserable kinda. it makes me drowsy. it makes me a bitch.
and it makes other people assholes.
it also kills all the drives i inherently have. all drives.
everything from my desire for food (which, lest we forget is necessary for the survival of the body) and more importantly... my sexdrive... horrible to realize im 21 and my sexdrive is currently enjoying a relaxing vacation in limbo sharing piña coladas with my mojo and groove (not sure when, how or even if, i lost it. but its definately on a holiday right now). so im led to this conclusion.
since im not using my sexdrive right now, im not getting sex right now -obviously, because im typing right now, but i mean now as in the royal now.... um, recently i mean, and how recent is recent is none of your bloody concern- (not that anyone really wants to have sex with somebody who has small rivers of snot shooting out of his nose every 5 seconds at a fantastic speed) so....
somebody must be having my sex!
obviously. it still is mine. just cause im not using it right now doesnt mean it isnt still mine, that i wont use it in the near future. if i find out who is taking my sex i plan to sue.
quite possibly he could be pimping my sex out... giving it out like cheap candy after halloween to any old nasty skank who walks by (can you imagine when skanks roll by on those new scooter things¿ "just hop on baby, mine iz pimpazized for my pleazure."). or hes the philanthropist type, selling it on ebay or in an alley somewhere along with the dignity you lost that one time you did that thing you wish you hadnt but did and your friends saw you and they were never your friends again... yup, could be. and if a girl is having my sex¿ that doesnt mean im suddenly gay if someone used my sex to have sex with a guy,... right¿ you know what lets just say shes a lesbian so as not to complicate things (because im all about simplicity, cant you tell¿). i have no control over where my sex is being used right now, or for what purpose. sure i could be optimistic and pretend its being used in the next great american porn magnum opus... but its probably being used by a drunken hobo on a $3 toothless whore (actually wouldnt toothless whores be better because of the lack of teeth¿ just a thought.) aged 45 (and unlike whiskey, they dont get better with age, just sloppier). maybe its being used by a very loving couple of teenage lesbians in school girl uniforms... and maybe its being used (and abused) in a very angry copulation by two people in a broom closet somewhere. everywhere people are having sex that is rightfully mine!
damnit. i hope that these people realize that once i get my s.drive (it just sounds cooler... S.DRIVE) back im gonna go and collect. so you better get a receipt next time you have sex (just ask, youd be surprised how accomodating some people can be when asked nicely). because it might be the sex that im due that your using (dont do anything freaky deaky if your using my sex... pervert) in your sloppy drunken sex (how somebody thought your incredible loss of hand eye coordination, projectile vomiting, inability to stand and eue de liquor was appealing is a mystery for the ages) and dammit i want reparations! thats right i said reparations!
im due.