i am a watcher. i can only watch. i cannot interfere, that is against the rules we set long ago.
i watch you. you and everyone else. i see all the events and emotions. me and my kin.
this is what we do. we watch. we see you go through your lives.
we see you agonize, see you worry, see everything. we go unnoticed.
we notice the thinkers, the philosophers. we listen to them think. propose theories. agonize over details, trying to explain and comprehend the human condition. my eldest sister thinks its funny. but she was always odd. she enjoys seeing you in anguish. that may be why she has the occupation she does. you call her misery. shes is one of many that watch.
we do wonder why you try to control your lives. you toil throughout your lives. trying to gain material. my brother is pleased by this. greed has always been with you. he knows everyone.
you all worry. i watch and i dont understand. why do you worry. there are forces much greater than you at work.
i watch how some believe in greater things than man. yet even they dont give up the illusion of control. man has always chosen to believe that he is control. i have seen different.
from my side, man is a product of circumstance. a chain of events started long ago. leading to your present situation. i cant see any improvements in your condition either. entropy at work.
why can´t you just let go of it all. let destiny work as she should. surrender.
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um. yeah. um... see... ugh nevermind, its a monologue thats been in my head for the better part of a week, theres an image that goes with it too.. but you know... its been a long week.
17.9.03
7.9.03
oh so odd.
i was amazed by something the other night...
so i head over to a omedy improve thing. one of those where people yell suggestions at random, usually sounding like individuals with very messed up childhoods, to your usual assortment of semi-organized idiots who have just enough education to perform and hopefully the entire mess ends up being funny. now its not weather or not its funny that i am concerned with (i hate it when it is predictably funny... just ruins it when i can think of the punchline far in advance, they never live up to what i have in my head...) instead im concerned with how it is that these groups of men, no disrespect to women who may be funny as all hell (hell isnt that funny, its very cynical) but improve groups are largely compromised of groups of men, can make jokes and improvise off the top of their heads and oddly, it rarely devolves into a string of sex jokes following each other. which is a good thing. because sex jokes have a place and a time. telling sex jokes with your mates may be funny, but its funnier when people from the other sex are also present. its funny. except now they can sue you for it. "he told a dirty joke. he offended me. i found it funny at the time, but 3 hours later as i was waxing my upper lip i thought it was quite offensive. and so did my cat tammy." clearly some people must think other people have more money than tey really do. and its all ou fault anyway. we all dress like we have more money than we really do. because it makes it so that we may have a lay. and thats what we all want. a lay. (frito lay? stupid twit.) which is an odd thought when you think about it. a lay. when getting a lay you dont do much laying down (because laying up is a difficult sexual position, ends with bruised elbows and pelvic bones, and i cant jump with the weight of a woman on me... no matter how thin they claim to be). so why call it a lay? well one person lays down usually. or get in a crawling position. so that kinda makes sense... but, i got laid, or i laid her? well it depends on what you do the night before. right. and in british it makes no sense, shag? the only time ive heard the word shag is in shag carpeting. and i dont think thats the official use for the shag carpet, i checked the manual. quick manual 2 pages. unroll carpet, walk. so not for shagging. shag on something comfy. but nothing plastic in the sun. especially if it has a checkmark pattern... last thing you or the girl/boy whatever your pleasure is a checkerboard on your butt. because thats odd to explain afterwards. no good reason, "oh im going to a checkers championhip in sweden. im rooting for brown. no?" because nowadays the airports are getting so bad they may as well be checkin your bum next time you fly. long as you can keep them from going up through round your person your gonna be ok. so yeah. and back to the idiots who say the things that are funny, the comedians. i went to the show thing and turns out not only do they have a session where even the special kids can participate (the part where they can yell something, anything... which explains some of the suggestions... "i like NUUuutSS" "SPICY FLOOOOWeERS") but they also have a good chunk of the show where they give up and let the fools participate. and by participate i mean you go down there to the front and perform. sounds nifty, till you realize that the people who go down there are split into two groups i think, theres the group of people who always participate. "me me me me me mememememe pick MEEEEe!!!" those kids, they always want to go down. then theres the other group of people who think they are funny, but they arent. and thinking off the top of your head isnt easy for everyone. because most people use 2% of their brain... and some, considerably less. and these are the ones that in a improve group think its ok for a punchline to come on after 4minutes of godawful silence because its still funny, absolutely not. groups of foolish people. and i already participated in this wonderous repeating disaster of thinking off the top of your head funny making once. nd i might do it again, because i had an ok if not to say good result in my first fabulous comedic outing.... pfh. see if i do that again. goodnight im going to bed.
so i head over to a omedy improve thing. one of those where people yell suggestions at random, usually sounding like individuals with very messed up childhoods, to your usual assortment of semi-organized idiots who have just enough education to perform and hopefully the entire mess ends up being funny. now its not weather or not its funny that i am concerned with (i hate it when it is predictably funny... just ruins it when i can think of the punchline far in advance, they never live up to what i have in my head...) instead im concerned with how it is that these groups of men, no disrespect to women who may be funny as all hell (hell isnt that funny, its very cynical) but improve groups are largely compromised of groups of men, can make jokes and improvise off the top of their heads and oddly, it rarely devolves into a string of sex jokes following each other. which is a good thing. because sex jokes have a place and a time. telling sex jokes with your mates may be funny, but its funnier when people from the other sex are also present. its funny. except now they can sue you for it. "he told a dirty joke. he offended me. i found it funny at the time, but 3 hours later as i was waxing my upper lip i thought it was quite offensive. and so did my cat tammy." clearly some people must think other people have more money than tey really do. and its all ou fault anyway. we all dress like we have more money than we really do. because it makes it so that we may have a lay. and thats what we all want. a lay. (frito lay? stupid twit.) which is an odd thought when you think about it. a lay. when getting a lay you dont do much laying down (because laying up is a difficult sexual position, ends with bruised elbows and pelvic bones, and i cant jump with the weight of a woman on me... no matter how thin they claim to be). so why call it a lay? well one person lays down usually. or get in a crawling position. so that kinda makes sense... but, i got laid, or i laid her? well it depends on what you do the night before. right. and in british it makes no sense, shag? the only time ive heard the word shag is in shag carpeting. and i dont think thats the official use for the shag carpet, i checked the manual. quick manual 2 pages. unroll carpet, walk. so not for shagging. shag on something comfy. but nothing plastic in the sun. especially if it has a checkmark pattern... last thing you or the girl/boy whatever your pleasure is a checkerboard on your butt. because thats odd to explain afterwards. no good reason, "oh im going to a checkers championhip in sweden. im rooting for brown. no?" because nowadays the airports are getting so bad they may as well be checkin your bum next time you fly. long as you can keep them from going up through round your person your gonna be ok. so yeah. and back to the idiots who say the things that are funny, the comedians. i went to the show thing and turns out not only do they have a session where even the special kids can participate (the part where they can yell something, anything... which explains some of the suggestions... "i like NUUuutSS" "SPICY FLOOOOWeERS") but they also have a good chunk of the show where they give up and let the fools participate. and by participate i mean you go down there to the front and perform. sounds nifty, till you realize that the people who go down there are split into two groups i think, theres the group of people who always participate. "me me me me me mememememe pick MEEEEe!!!" those kids, they always want to go down. then theres the other group of people who think they are funny, but they arent. and thinking off the top of your head isnt easy for everyone. because most people use 2% of their brain... and some, considerably less. and these are the ones that in a improve group think its ok for a punchline to come on after 4minutes of godawful silence because its still funny, absolutely not. groups of foolish people. and i already participated in this wonderous repeating disaster of thinking off the top of your head funny making once. nd i might do it again, because i had an ok if not to say good result in my first fabulous comedic outing.... pfh. see if i do that again. goodnight im going to bed.
5.9.03
ugh.
the bored is back up... but it looks like shite.
wish i could play with the font sizes but the bastards wont let me...
if i knew more code... if only.
im gonna have something up by monday.
wish i could play with the font sizes but the bastards wont let me...
if i knew more code... if only.
im gonna have something up by monday.
