it wasnt like this a day ago. it was nice a day ago, sunny and high 70's.
now its fuckin freezing again, and windy as fuckall. its not wonderfull.
24.11.03
freeze.dry.
it wasnt like this a day ago. it was nice a day ago, sunny and high 70's.
now its fuckin freezing again, and windy as fuckall. its not wonderfull.
talking with you makes me forget things.
all i want, and this is it, nothing else. no money, no cars, no houses no fame and fortune. no sitting atop a throne commanding my small army while basking in the unquestioned love and adulation of a nation filled with 16 to 25 year old women. none of that. no being proclaimed a deity, of corn, sun, moon, hay, coffee mugs no deity status. no having perfectly white teeth, or million dollar smile. no endless supply of perfectly healthy krispy kreme donuts freshly baked in my home every morning. no.
no perpetual youth. no eternal health. no end to disease. or world hunger. no end to war. not peace. not a month long world encompassing massive declaration of love and peace and harmony among all the little and tall people from all the different cultures that have met and raped and pillaged each other. no.
no desire for everything to work like clockwork when im banking on it. no desire for endless green lights and an end to traffic. not being able to wake up midday and not go to work. no being able to rewind and do everything i ever wanted and experience everything there is to be experienced in a lifetime that may have passed me by. no.
no being perfectly capable at every single task i ever undertake, being adored as an artist in every medium. no being on mtv as hundreds of thousands of teenagers yell their little brainless heads off for my attention like so many small annoying dogs. no true ultimate power. no soundeffects for my life, or a soundtrack. no having a revolutionary film director direct my life and have it premier as the greatest cinematic masterpiece of this or any other time as it plays during my wake, with the credits rolling only to reveal that i was the director. no.
i dont want any of it. not even money.
all i want.....
is that one person who makes it all just effortlessly go away.
thats all.
no perpetual youth. no eternal health. no end to disease. or world hunger. no end to war. not peace. not a month long world encompassing massive declaration of love and peace and harmony among all the little and tall people from all the different cultures that have met and raped and pillaged each other. no.
no desire for everything to work like clockwork when im banking on it. no desire for endless green lights and an end to traffic. not being able to wake up midday and not go to work. no being able to rewind and do everything i ever wanted and experience everything there is to be experienced in a lifetime that may have passed me by. no.
no being perfectly capable at every single task i ever undertake, being adored as an artist in every medium. no being on mtv as hundreds of thousands of teenagers yell their little brainless heads off for my attention like so many small annoying dogs. no true ultimate power. no soundeffects for my life, or a soundtrack. no having a revolutionary film director direct my life and have it premier as the greatest cinematic masterpiece of this or any other time as it plays during my wake, with the credits rolling only to reveal that i was the director. no.
i dont want any of it. not even money.
all i want.....
is that one person who makes it all just effortlessly go away.
thats all.
13.11.03
irish potatoes.
its been a while... couple of weeks.
but much can happen in a couple of weeks.
specially the weekends.
i found out i have the ability to apply for almost any job and not get it.
i have found that playing poker can create a nice influx of cash (111 in 3 hours... hell yeah)
i still like toys and the next toy i want is gonna cost me 24 but its fuckfreakintastic.
thank god for poker money.
people seem to be abandoning their blogs more and more.
not cold turkey, but definately a weaning off of sorts.
come on people. write things. anything. if you dont youll lose it.
think when i die, if this blog is still up, people will look at it to try and understand me a little better¿
the midwest is a windy place. windy chilly place. with no cursing.
so uptight. they say bullcrap even when drunk.
ive been procrastinating lately and its catching up with me now.
i met people over the weekend that i probably wont see again... and they were so fun.
stayed up till 6 in the morning three nights in a row. i missed the days. lived the nights. such fun can never be had in daylight.
i think college has replaced my general knowledge (which was growing steadily) with very specific knowledge (which isnt as good bar talk).
i need a smart attractive (to me at least) girl.
see, i changed. before it was just i need an attractive girl. then just a girl would suffice. now its smart and attractive. standards are like tides. they come and go in waves. high points and low points.
im not moving into an apartment anymore (shouldve mentioned this before, but never got around to it) because i graduate in a year come december.
im not ready for life. not a job. not a 9 to 5. not a dull, dreary, creativity bashing mind numbing job. i want to work in marketing or advertising if i could.
dont think itll happen.
made a picture for starbucks espresso out of boredom one afternoon. shouldve been studying and writing a paper. oh well.
starbucks
its not perfect. and i was bored in econ class early in the morning after not sleeping all night. so i figured, i might as well.
theres more to my life than what i write down here.
like a friend who i believe has decided (voluntarily or otherwise) that we shouldnt see each other at all this semester (classes and studying my ass... theres more to life than that)
anyone who says that they dont have free time because college is hard work, is missing the point. why do some people love it when they leave college¿ sure sometimes its dreary as all hell, and it can be boring and there is work... but i enjoy it for what its worth. its the last time you can be irresponsible in your entire life. after this you must be mature and grown up. i hate expectations.
i wanna be a bohemian. a filthy rucking rich bohemian. a man can dream. just wait till i get my bar up and running, youll see.
but much can happen in a couple of weeks.
specially the weekends.
i found out i have the ability to apply for almost any job and not get it.
i have found that playing poker can create a nice influx of cash (111 in 3 hours... hell yeah)
i still like toys and the next toy i want is gonna cost me 24 but its fuckfreakintastic.
thank god for poker money.
people seem to be abandoning their blogs more and more.
not cold turkey, but definately a weaning off of sorts.
come on people. write things. anything. if you dont youll lose it.
think when i die, if this blog is still up, people will look at it to try and understand me a little better¿
the midwest is a windy place. windy chilly place. with no cursing.
so uptight. they say bullcrap even when drunk.
ive been procrastinating lately and its catching up with me now.
i met people over the weekend that i probably wont see again... and they were so fun.
stayed up till 6 in the morning three nights in a row. i missed the days. lived the nights. such fun can never be had in daylight.
i think college has replaced my general knowledge (which was growing steadily) with very specific knowledge (which isnt as good bar talk).
i need a smart attractive (to me at least) girl.
see, i changed. before it was just i need an attractive girl. then just a girl would suffice. now its smart and attractive. standards are like tides. they come and go in waves. high points and low points.
im not moving into an apartment anymore (shouldve mentioned this before, but never got around to it) because i graduate in a year come december.
im not ready for life. not a job. not a 9 to 5. not a dull, dreary, creativity bashing mind numbing job. i want to work in marketing or advertising if i could.
dont think itll happen.
made a picture for starbucks espresso out of boredom one afternoon. shouldve been studying and writing a paper. oh well.
starbucks
its not perfect. and i was bored in econ class early in the morning after not sleeping all night. so i figured, i might as well.
theres more to my life than what i write down here.
like a friend who i believe has decided (voluntarily or otherwise) that we shouldnt see each other at all this semester (classes and studying my ass... theres more to life than that)
anyone who says that they dont have free time because college is hard work, is missing the point. why do some people love it when they leave college¿ sure sometimes its dreary as all hell, and it can be boring and there is work... but i enjoy it for what its worth. its the last time you can be irresponsible in your entire life. after this you must be mature and grown up. i hate expectations.
i wanna be a bohemian. a filthy rucking rich bohemian. a man can dream. just wait till i get my bar up and running, youll see.
