i think (how nice).

interviews are a pain.
hows this for an interview question, what kind of animal would you be and why?
that sent my mind for a small loop.
5 people looking back at me for an answer. no pressure huh?
so many animals came to mind.
3 toed sloth... cause they are lazy (describes me pretty well) but bad for an interview.
zebra came next.... no reason.
horse? um... i had to pee like one.
koala... fuzzy but vicious... not what they wanted to hear im sure.
bunny... i look cute when i go hoppitty hop...
shark... im a killer? nope.
killer whale... again with the killing.
seal... im slippery?
bird... too cliche.
dog... im stupid and loyal but i drool and will hump your leg at awkward moments, not to mention that i need to be housetrained.
cat (shouldve said it)... independent. doesnt do anything unless it feels motivated, but then it does it well.
but no, i settled on...
ready?
penguin.
yup a penguin, and why a penguin... well i bullshitted like this.
penguins are efficient. they live on the ice, and walking on ice isnt very efficient. so they slide. and sliding is the way to go about things when living on ice.
yup. i hate interviews.
i feel fake when im in one. im not really like that. i say what i think you want to hear me say. so i lie out my ass (ie. speak shit.) to make myself be what you want. but then when i get the whatever, im not going to be like that. then ill be the same sarcastic little fucking bastard i have always been. but for 40 minutes i was as charismatic as i could be. still wish i could do the damn thing over again.
i hate interviews.