stupid and lifeless, like everyone else.

i thought i had something to say on the topic of being gay by birth and not upbringing. the idea i had then, has escaped me just now, and i tried remembering it well enough to prove my point, however i cant seem to find the same logical connections i managed to find last time. so, i wont write it down. i dont feel like i should post arguments here that i havent thought through, especially not comments and opinions that though my own, may be weak in structure and content.
content has become more and more important these days. lack of content means being hollow. if you have ever met a person whos personality is a vacant hole, then you might realize that being hollow is something horrible. it seems people now create personalities and attitudes based less on themselves and on what they represent, but more on the personalities that are imprinted on them through the great single eye. a constant bombardment of images and sound that end up selling less product but more attitude. it no longer matters that one is not an actual thug gangster from the worse parts of a poverty stricken ghetto. now even the individuals in upscale suburbia can play gangsta, they can follow the style, the dress and the mock lifestyle. so does that cheapen it? not really. a poser is a poser is a poser. and the fake attitude and personalities that people use to represent themselves with, that they choose to have associated with them can never compare to the original source. do you think that wearing the same hat, shirt, jeans and shoes as the rapper on mtv makes you exactly like him? yet, its not always the entire lifestyle that people crave is it?
its the "bling," the highpoints, the wonderful life that is seen through tinted lenses. the ghetto is a place of smiling children, women with style and attitude who want nothing more than to bed a ghetto baller, where everyone wears expensive tshirts by ecko and your wardrobe always equals $800 in value, where the sun always shines and the game is always on, a players paradise... sure, that would explain why people flock to live there right? wake up.
hollow individuals. no real personality. just copies. nothing special. a wandering blank with few remaining braincells occupied in spewing forth the latest overused cliche catch phrase... im rick james bitch. worrr (when did it become hip to speak with that drawl? its like your brain cant comprehend what your trying to do and just gives up for a bit. even you dont like you.) this is what passes for personality now. its a simple matter of watching some tv and latching onto the latest greatest phase and adapting yourself to it. this means that everyone can be popular. everyone is the same. everyone is becoming dull.
lifeless and unoriginal, empty hollowed out husks, brain dead with apathy, vacant stares, empty but lost,blind,dumb,deaf and too stupid to realize it. wake up.
few would read this far. our attention span is being reduced to fractions of a second. nothing captures attention anymore. weve been emotionally muted. we are told what is funny. do you realize that? laugh tracks inform us as to when we should laugh, its not the timing delivery or content that makes us laugh, its the laughtrack. we have been conditioned. television tells us tv is great. "the end of the greatest comedy," "the best show on tv comes to an end." then the media all joins in an unrelenting unignorable chant, and we become blind. we accept the idea. nobody argues, and those that do are left behind, out of the way, so as to not interfere with the doping of the mass by the garguantan marketing machine. hush. be complacent. dont look away. its ok.
i wonder. if tv has become so deeply ingrained in our culture, in our very lives, is there anyway to attempt to seperate ourselves? can we possibly cultivate a unique personality, something entirely ours, a return to originality and creativity?
i wonder. hollow empty and dull. view it all and never bat an eye. they will take care of everything, just sit down and dont think about it. conform, its easier. wake up.
think of all the memories you have and how many include a television? a movie? music? lines from shows, commercial music/jingles, movies, quotes, scenes, frames, events... it all gets taken and reused. replace the event with the movies. its the only way we understand. d-day. wwII. holocaust. vietnam. space. history. how much of it do we remember from text, and how much do we know from movies? troy... did we know the illiad before? do we now. how many memories do we possess that we cannot compare to a scene in a movie. it seems more and more we want to live like them. we strive for it. its becoming an ideal. we talk like them, dress like them, and our memories start to meld. soon our memories shape the movies, we direct them, envision them. memories based on the memories of others. lives lived like others meant. music sounding like the music that came before it. a repetition of ideas. a reprocessing of the sound. conform.
empty hollow husks. repetition. conformity. complacency. dumb and simple like cows.
"but we rebel, we are anticulture!" how can a rebellion be a rebellion when accepted by society? punk. gothic. emo. take your choice. even this which was once unique has been taken in. the same as the rest, just different coverings. the trappings matter little if the inside is gone. different they claim to be. yet equals they have, different only when outside the clique you have been given. society is prepared for you. you are no different. conform, eventually we'll make you. be calm. we have everything under control. and like cows we line up to destroy ourselves, chewing our cud. our life gone long before we die.
confined. restricted and limited.