7.6.04

hollywood needs new management

i dont think hollywood ever learns, and ignoring history leads to...
catwoman. the stench from daredevil is creeping up again. why does hollywood always take comicbook characters and make them look like rave kids?
cant think of any movie where they dont look like ravers, even the villians for that matter. i think only league of extraordinary gentlemen (sean connery might have looked a wee bit odd in full raver getup anyway) and batman (under the direction of timburton anyway... after that it became a less impressive cirque de solei extravaganza of colored lights)...
and the new catwoman is halle berry (im not going to say anything regarding the change in melanin quantities between her and the comicbook version... it doesnt really matter) and im wondering if halle at some point gave up on making decent films, if this is her little dip into easy movies with limited effort demanded (gothika? catwoman? swordfish? shes kinda becoming little more than pleasing eye candy isnt she?)... i dont even care that they change her outfit, because i understand that if it works in comics it doesnt mean it will work in real life... but this outfit? why didnt they just take a page from tim burton and have her look like that, all in leather with contrast stitching? its not normal looking, but better than the bare midriff scratched up thigh look they gave her now... and am i stupid for thinking that if you are going to bother with the vigilante thing you arent going to be concerned with how your cleavage will look while doing it? why is she wearing a push up bra? and why the two crossed belt-things?
i wonder if anyone even bothered to read a comic. she doesnt have superpowers, no supernatural abilities, or cat-sense either. shes like a female batman, except shes more like a cat burglar (thats why shes catwoman in the first place... its a pun) but not in the movie... oh no, in the movie shes a completely new catwoman (new and improved with a plethora of matrix inspired moves, a bevy of cg artists makeing her able to twist and turn with the best of them, and enough t&a to keep the older kids nice and happy as they sit through one and a half hours of mind numbingly lousy writing and if your very lucky maybe some decent direction that doesnt simply rinse wash and repeat every other action film youve seen since the beginning of this millenium! thats right kids you want to watch this movie! breasts! underwear! whips! and lots and lots of footage of halle acting like a cat with some unknown less attractive blonde girl! oh and theres a minor love story plot thrown in their somewhere stolen from spiderman, the actual plot is um... hey look halles breasts!)
i shouldnt complain but i cant even say that this movie isnt made for me, but for the kids who read the comics. except if it was for them then why is halley only wearing a pushup bra?! and a whip. and leather... in changing catwoman i hope they at least realize that they are alienating the comic fan base in the process (imagine if they did superman so that his name is now joe greenwall, and hes from ohio but got sprayed with mystery goo #67 that gave him super powers...) and im guessing the whole she has superpowers bit is so they can inject some cg aided fightscenes into the whole thing without having to expect people to believe it ("wow.. she did a triple backflip off a five story window and landed in perfect olympic form, must be some nifty powers")
what im worried about now... since catwoman, league of extraordinary gentlemen, batmans 3-whatever, is that my expectations for the new superman and batman movies will be far beyond what im actually going to be recieving (which is nothing more than a fun time that stays true to the feel of the source material).
i hate hollywood a little more each summer.

No comments: