the awkward feeling of grey.

been ages. i never write anymore. not here. been doing something different when it comes to writing. a project i started with a friend that is finally working the way it should. regardless.
today and the day that was yesterday i am grey.
its not easy to describe it. just a shade of grey. some people are difficult to befriend, and even more complicated to remain one. if nothing else, the ones that i have had have taught me, through frustration and repetition, patience. on occasion though i empathize too much. and i go grey. call it concern if you will.
its a desperate feeling of being unable to offer the aid they desperately need. no, thats not entirely true. its more desperately trying to get them to see what i do, though they fail to see it, more like refuse to see it. some people need to realize that they cant deal with everything on their own. but they all develope their crutches. its like a part of them got broken at some point along the way and they never got around to mending themselves then. like a crack in glass that has overtaken. starts small, a minor flaw, but with time it has become the defining character. cant see the glass, the crack is dominant.

not sure what else to get at. its a general feeling that has wormed its way into me. i talk slower, think more, everything fragmented.
the more i see them, the more exhausted i feel. feel like sleeping in til summer.