dead horse.

im going to beat a dead horse on this one.
or maybe just poke it a bit with a stick.
either way, this is something people have already discussed, everyone knows and im just being redundant and adding a breath to the sea of conversation already had on this...

talking to women is a bitch.
i can spin as much bs as necessary, on anything for an extended period of time without really thinking; pearls of idiocy tumble from my mouth like rabbits on viagra hump.
but put me in front of an unknown attractive girl and suddenly my brain is stuck in a loop. going in circles trying to find something to say that could possibly convey to this girl that i am worth talking to for the rest of the night and maybe even charming/interesting/odd enough to dry hump for a little while, or maybe have some uncomfortable fumblings about in the back seat of a car as we try and know our bodies a little better... wishful thinking that last bit. but really, in the back seat of cars i become like a 16 year old; clumsy and bumbling idiot.
so i dont really talk to women that much unless they are a friend with someone i know. otherwise im really quite insular. "lo que seria de mi vida" es una frase que me cruza mucho por la mente en las noches despues de perder oportunidades para hablar. lo que sea.
but really, what am i supposed to say? if im at a disco all i can offer is "dance?" (imagine a manatee dancing, thats more or less what im able to do... actually im more like those toys with the sand on the bottom that never fall over, just kind of sway this way and that...) or "drink?" (code for, i want to get you full of alcohol so your inhibitions take a vacation and we can make some bad decisions later in the back seat of the car like i mentioned earlier.) talking is out cause the music is loud enough for the deaf.
but when i can talk, i find nothing to say. nothing. i dont want to be cliche, i dont want to use pick up lines, and i cant really think of any one or two line thing that equals instant funny to a stranger... and im not going to start ranting like this to someone i just met. they may take me for a loon. but so long as they take me...

ahem.
so i put the question out there.
how in the hell do i approach women (carefully and with confidence)?
what the hell should i say to girls (hi is a good start)?

dead horse is sufficiently beaten now.

"an army of trained rabid squirrels!"
"make them fluffy. people wont be expecting an army of trained fluffy rabid squirrels. death by cuteness"