exchange.

so...
i figured i had to exchange one friendship. i had to give it up in order to get what i wanted. and you know, now that ive done that, i dont regret it...

frankly, i dont think ive ever been in a better place than where i am now.

makes me realize that i had to go through everything to become who i am now, and so did they, and if we think of it that way, we are in debt to everyone who ever touched us in any way, who ever caused a slight ripple in our life, because if not for them we would not be ourselves... and right now, it is my experiences with all those people that make me the person i am now... which made me perfect for that other person... so gracci.

we are more than the sum of our parts.

"alguna vez habran visto algo tan singular? un pato que canta bosanova!"

keepup.

this last week...
semana santa.
spent some nice time on a beach.
walked on a pier at least twice.
drank vodka out of a coconut.
had plenty of beer and rum.
got a tan.
got in a pool.
cheap hotel night.
crashed a car.
got new car.
lost license.
got stuck in city with no license.
saw v for vendetta.
got license.
came home.
drove about 500miles.
watched 0 hours of tv.

got a girl.

bleedingheart.

flirtation knicks,
a kiss is a slap,
sex is a wound,
but betrayal bleeds you out from the inside.

first love then hate.

an idea for a conversation.
fiction.

"i love you."
"..."
"dont you love me?"
"sometimes."
"sometimes?"
said quietly into the ear, voice barely a whisper, holding her close...
"i dont love you. not all the time. but there are moments when i can do nothing but be in love with you... they are quiet moments because they have to be, an errant word, carelessly thrown out, causes it to vanish... and the same word could cause me to shatter. those quiet moments, where we say nothing, in quiet unintelligble whispers i make myself vulnerable. in those moments i belong to you absolutely. you ask if i love you? only in those moments. the others are spent trying to recapture those singular moments, moments which belong only to you..."