short lines.

Short jokes. not necessarily good, but short, followed by a few lines regarding a computer.


"i thought my girlfriend had an eating disorder so i took her to a center. turns out it was just a stomach flu. i should go get her soon."
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"you know you have it good when both you and your girlfriend stop talking to each other to stare at the new victorias secret commercial."
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"my spam used to be for banks in nigeria, possible million dollar winner, and chain emails. Now my computer is telling me to be bigger, increase quantity (but not quality) of sperm, and have sex with strangers in my neighborhood...

Punchlines to this...

"My computer is going through adolescence"
"Lesson, never get naked in front of your computer."
"My computer is perverted."
"It speaks to me."
"My computer is trying to pimp me out."
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Pick up lines by computer.

"Hey baby, I got 2 gigs of RAM for you."
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"Oh dear... im afraid im all out of RAM."
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"My girlfriend is a printer. When shes not in the mood she says she has a paper jam."
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"I put my cord in her socket."
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"I can make your ink run."
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"I have large fonts."
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"error.error.error. you caused me to get stuck in a loop with your configuration."
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"I like your case."
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"Im so hot even Apples dig me."
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"Wow. You know shes not factory direct, just look at those upgrades."
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"You and me baby, were like 0 and 1."
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"0111011011 baby, you and me, all night long, just 0110111101."
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"my ink cartridge runeth over."
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"I had her printing all night."
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"I dont usually go for color printers..."
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"I have some spam you might be interested in."
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"Care to finger through my inbox?"
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"I have porn."
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"Touch my keys. Softly."
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"All my inputs are around back."
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"Our software is compatible."
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"Lets make an ipod tonight."
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"They just call me imac mini... but im all harddrive."
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"Male and female ends... lets connect."
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"Dont worry, i have an antivirus."
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theres more. but i think ive stated all the ones that i should. the rest just make me seem far too much of a geek.