dead horse.

im going to beat a dead horse on this one.
or maybe just poke it a bit with a stick.
either way, this is something people have already discussed, everyone knows and im just being redundant and adding a breath to the sea of conversation already had on this...

talking to women is a bitch.
i can spin as much bs as necessary, on anything for an extended period of time without really thinking; pearls of idiocy tumble from my mouth like rabbits on viagra hump.
but put me in front of an unknown attractive girl and suddenly my brain is stuck in a loop. going in circles trying to find something to say that could possibly convey to this girl that i am worth talking to for the rest of the night and maybe even charming/interesting/odd enough to dry hump for a little while, or maybe have some uncomfortable fumblings about in the back seat of a car as we try and know our bodies a little better... wishful thinking that last bit. but really, in the back seat of cars i become like a 16 year old; clumsy and bumbling idiot.
so i dont really talk to women that much unless they are a friend with someone i know. otherwise im really quite insular. "lo que seria de mi vida" es una frase que me cruza mucho por la mente en las noches despues de perder oportunidades para hablar. lo que sea.
but really, what am i supposed to say? if im at a disco all i can offer is "dance?" (imagine a manatee dancing, thats more or less what im able to do... actually im more like those toys with the sand on the bottom that never fall over, just kind of sway this way and that...) or "drink?" (code for, i want to get you full of alcohol so your inhibitions take a vacation and we can make some bad decisions later in the back seat of the car like i mentioned earlier.) talking is out cause the music is loud enough for the deaf.
but when i can talk, i find nothing to say. nothing. i dont want to be cliche, i dont want to use pick up lines, and i cant really think of any one or two line thing that equals instant funny to a stranger... and im not going to start ranting like this to someone i just met. they may take me for a loon. but so long as they take me...

ahem.
so i put the question out there.
how in the hell do i approach women (carefully and with confidence)?
what the hell should i say to girls (hi is a good start)?

dead horse is sufficiently beaten now.

"an army of trained rabid squirrels!"
"make them fluffy. people wont be expecting an army of trained fluffy rabid squirrels. death by cuteness"

alone.

today i fully realized what my life would be like if i lived alone here...

glorious.

"the best thing to ever happen to milk? strawberrys."
"you think it came about cause a cow wandered into a strawberry field?"

my play.

ive finally after being lethargic about it written a beginning...
as said by the narrator as the lights slowly, very slowly come up and the curtain rises.

"the following occurs in a city cafe, it doesnt matter which city, you can pretend its paris, new york, san fran, buenos aires, berlin, london, tokyo it doesnt matter, we'll never see the city, the only thing we need to know is that the city is of a large enough size to have a cafe. the cafe is nothing remarkable, even the coffee is standard fare, and it looks like most cafes look since starbucks came about, modern but with a hint of the retro flare, and no connection to the cities culture. some people might wonder, even if it is unimportant, about the time, its 3 in the afternoon. but that isnt important. its july. tuesday. fair weather. all not important. the only important thing is that two people are going to have coffee today."

now all i need to do is write the damn thing that comes in the middle and eventually figure out where i want it to end, which is really at the beginning. so it should go beginning-middle-end-beginning-middle-end-beginning ad nauseum.

"i know two things... im not god."

hang out?

yes. were friends. we just cant hang out in public.
its nothing personal. its just my other friends dont like me hanging out with you.
and so i did some soul searching, and again this is nothing personal, and talked with my friends and i basically decided that while i like hanging out with you ok, we just cant be seen in public. incidently, youll only be able to see me when i deem it convenient, this is because i like my friends more than i like you. so ill let you see me twice a week and maybe take me somewhere one night, just not on a weekend cause thats when me and my friends go out to the disco to get drunk and flirt with random people.
no. no your not invited to get your freak on at the club with me and my friends. you just go do something else all weekend and dont bother me until monday. sunday? ill have a hangover on sunday from the weekend drinking, thats why you cant see me on a sunday.
but, just because we wont talk so much anymore, and only see each other for 5 hours a week, we are still friends.
got it?
ok, my friends are here and we are going to go have fun without you now, bye.

dont call me, ill call you.

friends?
were the kind of friends that dont hang out.

not outgoing enough.

im not.
but heres an idea.

i know we have hi5.facebook.myspace.xanga. but...
would it be more interesting if instad of everyone sumitting the same things...
the age.sex.location.favorite movie.music.book...
there was one with a picture and a brief description. but not written by them.
more like. spend a day with someone. write a little profile/story about them.

so in the end.
youd have pages that would be different and reflect the person a little more.
some would contain just a picture or three. another perhaps song lyrics. another a story of something. others a combination of things...
but the person doesnt write it. the other person does.

just think it would be interesting. less of a, this is who i think i am (or who i want you to think i am) and more of a, this is who you are.

"its a matter of principle, so it doesnt apply to you."

the western union stop.

Stop.

the telegraph is officially dead.
not sure who still used it, but its official now.
the last one went out on friday.
farewell telegraph.
the only thing im going to miss with the passing of the telegraph are the old time stock tickers.
encased in glass bowl things with the little paper that would roll out. pretty nifty.
wish i had one to place on a mantel.
wish i had mantel.

"oh godamnit, oh god goddamit. i think i love you."